Parenting Your Child Through the College Application Process

While helping your child search for and apply to college is an exciting time, you are most likely battling both of your feelings of stress and anxiety on the side. Here are several tips to tackle those feelings and help you and your student along the way.

Listen – This process is about your child discovering themselves and their dreams. Although they may not have an exact idea of what they want, you can definitely help them if you only listen. The college search is about finding what fits them, not what fits you. Understand what their strengths are and help them go from there. You may think you know what is best for them, but this is a time for you to listen and learn from your child. Let them direct the search. Ask questions instead of giving answers.

Visit – You may have read my previous post about campus visits, but if you have not, do not underestimate the importance of them. Touring schools gives your student the chance to learn more about what they want from their future college and helps them fine tune their search to schools which are a better match. Go on the tours with them, notice what gets them excited and ask them questions to help them ground their opinions along the way. It is a great time for some family roadtrips!

Do not focus solely on those big names and rankings - If you have Googled schools or discussed them with your friends or peers, chances are the famous (or infamous if you ask most college counselors) U.S. News & World Report rankings have been mentioned. While those lists are undoubtedly filled with great schools, there are thousands more out there worthy of consideration. Those rankings are created using questionable data and leave many important factors out of the picture (read this Washington Post article for more on that). If you only focus on those lists or the big name schools, you are missing out on finding others which may be much better matches for your student. Not only that, you are adding to the anxiety and pressure your student may be feeling to get into one of those schools. You want them to be comfortable with wherever they are accepted, not setting them up for a potential let down.

Teach self advocacy – you can use this time to teach your student to advocate for themselves if they are not already. Once they get to school, you won't be there to call their professors or take them to their doctor's appointments. Let them take ownership of this process and teach them to take care of themselves. If they need something for their applications, let them be the one to ask their counselor or teacher. If they want more information from a college or would like to contest a financial aid award or admissions decision, they need to do this for themselves. In fact, it is viewed poorly when a parent contacts a potential college on behalf of their perfectly capable child. Send them off to college knowing they can take care of themselves!

Last but not least, remember that where your child goes is not a reflection of your parenting success. Yes, you can most likely attribute part of their success in high school to your parenting and support. Yes, you probably had an affect on their decision to go to college and where they are going. However, the school and career path they choose is their own and in no way should you think less of yourself as a parent because of their decision. Your child is becoming an adult and their choices are their own to make. Congratulations on making it this far and enjoy your time left with your child at home!

ACM Featured in YesCollege.com Podcast

I was recently asked by Shawn Hawksworth of yescollege.com to join him on a podcast and provide some advice on the college application process. Shawn host's an informative podcast aimed at demystifying the college degree and application process. Each week he interviews experts from various fields to help students learn more about the many different majors and programs offered at colleges across the US. Listen in to our podcast to hear more about the application process today! Continue to follow the YesCollege podcast to hear from various experts in higher education each week.

Campus Visits Done Right

What may seem to be a long drive for a boring tour given by an overly peppy guide who speaks faster than ever imagined possible is actually more valuable than most families think if done right. Giving the students a clearer picture of what they want and don't want from their future college, allowing them a chance to demonstrate interest to their top choices, getting their questions answered and showing them what they are working for and where they may be in a short time are all reasons not to forgo the campus visits. Here are 5 tips for getting the out of your next campus visit.

• Research first - walk onto campus with some knowledge of the school and programs you are interested in. It is unlikely you will know exactly what you want to major in, but you probably have some ideas. These visits are your chance to sort through them. You should have your questions which were not answered online ready to go so that you can ask the admissions counselors or program directors on site.

• Tailor your tour – make arrangements ahead of time with the admissions office to meet the people you want to meet and see what you want to see. If you think you are interested in English, try to schedule a meeting with an advisor for that department and look at those classrooms and curricula. Interested in science? Take a good look at the labs, look at what students are doing in their classes, speak with some professors. Although many schools will not be able to or want to accommodate such individual requests, you can take the initiative to do most of these things on your own while on campus and if it is a school you are truly interested in, do not take no for an answer. Some schools also have open houses or visits geared specifically towards certain majors or departments. Pay attention to their schedules and attend one which most matches your interests. In addition to the academic facilities, you may be interested in athletics, arts, or another side of campus. Explore those as well. Scheduling your tour around an athletic competition, concert, or other student event is a fun and easy way to explore beyond the tour.

• Get a feel for student life – general student characteristics and social life can vary significantly by campus. Visiting campus while school is in session is crucial. Take the time to eat in a campus dining hall, visit the library, tour the student activity center, and pick up a campus paper and other information on student activities to get a feel for campus life. If you can not attend a tour while students are on campus before applying, be sure to revisit later.

• Explore the area– campus location can play a big part in your decision and it is better to find out what you think of the town/city now. Safety, transportation and entertainment options are among the things to take into consideration off-campus.

• Take notes – after a few tours, the campuses and information may seem to blur together. During or after your visit, do not forget to write down your thoughts. You can even take pictures to jog your memory later.

Big or small, urban or rural, religious or not – a student may have no idea what they prefer until they experience it in person. Campus visits are invaluable for showing a student what qualities they want in their future school. Even visiting a school a student knows they have no interest in can prove helpful as it shows them a different side of things and gives them a clearer picture of what they do not want. You wouldn't buy a car without driving it or a house without seeing it, so why would you pay for an education at a school which could potentially cost more than either of those without visiting beforehand? Do the campus visits, and do them right!

New Years Resolutions for High School Students Considering College

Most 15 and 16 year olds are thinking about their next game, their latest high school crush, or getting their driver’s license, not about their college plans for 2 -3 years down the road. It seems a bit unfair that they should have to think about such important things at a young age, but that is what the process has become and it is in their best interest to start early. Here are four resolutions for high school students considering college.

SOPHOMORES – Spend time researching college and career options

By now, many students have already taken some version of the SAT or ACT and had a broad discussion of college plans with their parents and/or high school counselor. What they probably haven't done is actually sit down and do some self reflecting and research. What are their potential career and course of study interests? What type of college do they envision for themselves? What are the requirements for admission to those colleges? They should make it a goal to spend time doing research now while they still have time to adjust their high school path, visit schools, prep for tests, and set up job shadowing and classes to help them with their admission and final decision. That small amount of time they spend over the next year has the potential to make a BIG difference.

JUNIORS – Establish college application timeline and goals NOW

Students in their next to last year of high school should establish their timeline for college applications now! Although they may not have their 'list' narrowed down to the final few schools, it is not too early to establish personal deadlines for getting their applications done. The key is to set those deadlines early - take the potential college deadlines and move them back by 6-8 weeks! There can be a lot of unexpected delays, added requirements and other bumps along the college application road, and it is better to be done early than to risk an incomplete application. Students who stay organized and work ahead often forget to take into consideration the fact that there are pieces to the applications which are not in their hands. Recommendation letters, high school transcripts, and test scores are just a few examples of requirements which may not be sent directly by the student. Students need to give their counselors and recommenders plenty of time to complete their documents.

SENIORS – Continue to put forth best effort in school and remember college decisions are NOT everything

By now many students at this stage in their high school careers have completed their applications, especially those for out-of-state colleges. Most of those even have their offers of admission already. The first of two resolutions for students at this time are to continue to put forth their best effort in school. There are plenty of other students willing to take their spot at their potential future college and there is little room for slacking and decline in grades. Colleges do pay attention to this and indeed have the power to revoke their admission offer if they feel the student is not meeting their academic standards.

The second resolution and unarguably the most important, is for students to remember that admissions decisions are not everything. Unfortunately colleges are unable to truly get to know each student before making an acceptance decision. Although a student may not have gotten into their dream school, their future is still very bright and they have plenty of opportunity to shape it the way they want it to be. Every college has something great to offer, students just have to take advantage of it. I do believe some colleges are better fits than others and strive to help students find the best matches, but ‘the perfect college’ does not exist. College is only the beginning of the journey. It can be a spectacular part of it, but it is not everything and it is certainly not the end.